Choosing to become a surrogate is a life-altering decision that will affect you in many ways. However, it is important to know that you will not be the only one affected by your surrogacy journey. People around you, especially your significant other, will also be affected by your decision. Understanding the impact of surrogacy on your partner will help you minimize the emotional impact of your journey and keep your relationship solid. In this post, we will discuss how surrogacy can affect your partner. We will also share valuable advice on how to keep your relationship strong all through your surrogacy journey.

Surrogacy’s Effect on Your Significant Other

Naturally, surrogates and their partners wonder how surrogacy will affect their relationship. There is no one size fits all answer. Every woman’s surrogacy is different.  The same goes for the challenges faced by couples where the woman is a surrogate. Below are some of the challenges you may face in your relationship when you become a surrogate.

  • Restrictions on intimacy:

    Before the embryo transfer, you are going to work with a fertility expert in order to ensure your chance of getting pregnant is as high as possible. You will need to take fertility medications, which can make an unexpected pregnancy highly possible. For this reason, you and your significant other will have to abstain from sexual activities during this period, likely one month or longer. In addition, your intimate relationship can also suffer during the surrogate pregnancy. Some partners don’t mind the decreased intimacy during pregnancy. Some may not feel the same, especially with the knowledge that the baby you are carrying is for another family.

  • Shifts in responsibility:

    You may feel sick or have less energy than usual during the pregnancy, which means that your significant other might have to help with more of your daily responsibilities at home and with your kids, so you can rest. 

  • Discussions about the pregnancy:

    Family members, friends, acquaintances, and even strangers usually have a lot to say about any pregnancy. They will have even more remarks and questions when they learn it is a surrogate pregnancy. Your spouse might be questioned about your surrogate pregnancy and asked whether s/he is excited to become a parent. Both you and your partner must be ready to provide answers to these questions and to discuss surrogacy with others.

  • Limited activity:

    During your pregnancy, you may need to put some of your favorite family activities on hold for some time. You might not have the strength for a long vacation, take the children out, go to a concert. You may need to alter your lifestyle for a while. But you can look for new ways to spend quality time together at home. 

Keeping Your Relationship Strong During Surrogacy

While some couples have a smooth surrogacy journey, others face multiple challenges. Being prepared will help you tackle any problems that may arise head-on. It will help you keep your relationship healthy and strong throughout the pregnancy. Here are some ways to do that:

  • Keep your spouse involved.

    You need to get the support of your partner from the very beginning. Let them see your decision to help another family carry their baby as a professional decision as soon as possible. Ask him or her to accompany you to important appointments. You should keep finding ways to make your partner feel involved in the surrogacy process.

  • Communicate.

    The key to all healthy relationships is open communication. Have discussions with your partner regularly and consistently during the process. If you find effective communication hard for any reason, try to talk to a counselor to help you and your partner communicate.

  • Focus on the positives.

    Remember your reasons for pursuing surrogacy. Anytime things get tense between you and your partner, remind them what the family is gaining from this unique experience. For instance, in the case of compensated surrogacy, point out how the received funds can help you get a college degree, or buy a house. 

  • Remember that it is temporary.

    While you may not be as intimate as usual during your pregnancy, and your significant other may be overwhelmed with extra childcare and housework responsibilities, you need to remember that all these challenges are temporary.  Everything will return to normal after the baby is delivered. 

  • Know you’re not alone.

    Pregnancy is usually challenging for every family. You and your significant other are not the first to have relationship issues during this period. Seek support from friends and family who have been in your shoes and consult your surrogacy expert to know about other couples who are also experiencing similar challenges.

Pregnancy is a very emotional time and places many demands on any family. It can be difficult for your partner to handle all the ups and downs of pregnancy, knowing that it will not result in a new addition to their family in the end. However, with good preparation and open, effective communication, surrogacy can end up being a fulfilling and positive experience for couples.  Their relationship after a surrogacy journey can actually come out much stronger. If you would like to learn more about becoming a surrogate, you can contact Physician’s Surrogacy at www.physicianssurrogacy.com, or you can call (858) 951-1868.