Why Is It A Requirement That Surrogates Already Be Parents?

Have you ever felt a strong desire to help someone build their family through surrogacy, only to discover one strict rule getting in your way: you must already be a mother who has successfully carried a pregnancy to term. You might find yourself asking, “Why is my parenting history a prerequisite for helping someone else?”

If you’ve encountered this barrier, you’re not alone. Many compassionate women eager to help others experience the joy of parenthood find themselves disqualified by what seems like an arbitrary rule.

“I feel so discouraged that just because I don’t intend to ever have children of my own that I can’t be a surrogate and carry a child for a mother,” shares one aspiring surrogate in an online discussion. This sentiment echoes across many forums online.

 But is this requirement simply a needless obstacle, or does it serve an important purpose?

To clear up any misconceptions, let’s talk about why having at least one successful pregnancy is a non-negotiable standard in the surrogacy community. We’ll explore how this requirement is rooted in three fundamental pillars: physical safety, psychological readiness, and ethical safeguards.

Key Takeaways

• The #1 rule for becoming a surrogate is having at least one prior successful pregnancy.
• A prior pregnancy provides a proven medical track record for safety and prepares a surrogate emotionally for the unique journey of carrying a baby for someone else.
• It also shows that the Surrogate understands the realities of pregnancy from personal experience rather than theory.
• If you don’t meet this requirement, you can still help build families through other meaningful avenues, such as egg donation.

Why Do I Need to Have Given Birth to Be a Surrogate?

Surrogacy is an arrangement where a woman becomes pregnant and gives birth for an individual or couple (the intended parents) who are unable to conceive or carry a pregnancy themselves. This can be due to various fertility challenges, medical conditions, or other circumstances.

So, why exactly is this a necessity?

Just like what many applicants are asking, “If I am young, healthy, and willing, why must I have given birth to my own child to carry for someone else?”

Why Medical History Matters

The primary reason surrogacy agencies and reproductive specialists require candidates to have had a previous successful pregnancy is safety — not just for the surrogate mother, but for everyone involved.

In the field of obstetrics, a woman’s past pregnancy records are the single most reliable tool for predicting future pregnancy outcomes. This is often referred to in reproductive medicine as having a “proven uterus.” It shows that a woman’s body can handle the physical demands of pregnancy and childbirth without major complications

Women who have never given birth are clinically classified as nulliparous. Without a prior full-term delivery, our in-house physicians have no baseline data to determine if a candidate’s body is capable of successfully carrying a pregnancy to term.

Research published in the National Center for Biotechnology Information confirms that a surrogate’s obstetric history is a critical factor in determining her suitability for the role.

This requirement protects the surrogate from potentially discovering a high-risk condition during a surrogate pregnancy, such as:

• Uterine Anomalies: Structural issues that might prevent implantation or growth.

• Cervical Incompetence: The inability of the cervix to retain a pregnancy as the baby grows.

• Gestational Conditions: Genetic predispositions to complications like pre-eclampsia or gestational diabetes.

It also shields the intended parents from the emotional and financial devastation of a failed transfer or complicated pregnancy.

According to a study published in the journal Fertility and Sterility, pregnancies achieved through IVF already carry slightly higher risks compared to spontaneous conceptions. Adding an untested reproductive system to this equation would unnecessarily increase those risks.

Psychological and Emotional Readiness

Beyond the physical considerations, the requirement for surrogates to have experienced motherhood themselves also comes with other psychological and emotional factors.

Women who have been pregnant know full well the challenges that come with pregnancy. They know firsthand about the hormonal shifts, morning sickness, body changes, and the emotional ups and downs that can come with them. That experience helps set realistic expectations for what the surrogacy process can feel like week to week.

In contrast, someone who has never been pregnant may have an idealized or incomplete picture of pregnancy. Even with excellent education and counseling, the day-to-day reality can feel more intense than expected, which can increase distress once symptoms, restrictions, and medical monitoring begin.

Two other emotional factors also matter in a well-supported surrogacy journey:

• Empathy for intended parents. Because she knows what it means to love and care for her own child, a surrogate can more easily appreciate what this baby represents to the intended parents—and why clear communication and trust matter throughout the pregnancy.

• Compartmentalization. Mothers are often better prepared to separate “my family” from “the baby I’m carrying,” which supports healthy boundaries during pregnancy and can make the handoff after delivery feel clearer and emotionally safer for everyone involved.

Together, these factors don’t guarantee a perfect experience, but they do lower the risk of surprises that can be emotionally difficult, especially in the later months of pregnancy and the postpartum period.

Ethical and Practical Concerns

Medical screening matters, but it’s only one part of the picture. Requiring a surrogate to have at least one child of her own also supports safer decision-making and a smoother experience for everyone involved.

Proof Of Stability And Responsibility

Raising a child shows real-life stability in a way an application can’t fully capture. Parenting involves consistency, patience, and putting someone else’s needs first—traits that matter during a surrogacy journey that often spans 12–24 months from application to delivery.

Most programs also look for signs that day-to-day life is steady, such as:

• A reliable living situation

• Financial stability (often including not relying on certain forms of public assistance)

• The ability to attend appointments and follow medical guidance

Taken together, these factors help reduce outside pressures that can make pregnancy harder on the body and mind.

A Built-In Support System At Home

Surrogacy is demanding even with the best intentions. There are appointments, medication schedules, travel logistics, fatigue, and recovery time—on top of normal family responsibilities.

That’s why agencies often ask for a primary support person (often a partner, family member, or close friend) who is ready to step in during key moments. Someone who is already a mother is more likely to have:

• People who understand what pregnancy really looks like at home

• Practical support for childcare, transportation, and rest

• Emotional support during physically uncomfortable or stressful stretches

Informed Consent Based On Lived Experience

Ethically, informed consent means more than signing forms. It means someone truly understands what she’s agreeing to.

So, from an ethical standpoint, a woman who has never been pregnant cannot fully comprehend what she is consenting to. A first-time pregnant person may not fully grasp:

• How pregnancy can feel physically (pain, nausea, fatigue, complications)

• How frequently medical monitoring can happen

• How interventions may come up (extra testing, restrictions, procedures)

• The emotional impact of pregnancy hormones, stress, and recovery

Prior pregnancy experience gives a clearer, lived reference point, so the decision is grounded in reality, rather than theoretical understanding.

Aligned With Professional Guidance

These requirements usually come from established industry guidance, including recommendations from organizations such as the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM).

Programs use these standards to protect the surrogate, the intended parents, and the baby—and to set expectations clearly from the start.

For Physician’s Surrogacy, following established screening and support practices is part of building a process that feels safe, respectful, and well-structured for everyone involved.

What If This Requirement Excludes You?

If you feel discouraged because this requirement excludes you from becoming a surrogate, your feelings are valid.

Many women who are child-free by choice or by circumstance feel frustrated that their desire to help others build their families is blocked by this seemingly insurmountable barrier.

“I feel so discouraged that just because I don’t intend to ever have children of my own that I can’t be a surrogate and carry a child for a mother,” expresses one woman in an online forum, articulating a sentiment shared by many.

While the requirement to have had a previous successful pregnancy is unlikely to change due to the medical, psychological, and ethical reasons we’ve discussed, there are other meaningful ways you can contribute to family building:

Consider Egg Donation

One of the most direct alternatives is egg donation.

Egg donation is a profound gift that helps many individuals and couples achieve pregnancy.

While it involves its own medical procedures and considerations, it doesn’t require previous pregnancy experience and allows you to make a significant impact in someone’s family-building journey.

Other Ways to Support Family Building

If egg donation isn’t right for you, consider:

• Volunteering with organizations that support infertility awareness
• Advocating for inclusive family-building legislation
• Donating to nonprofits that provide grants for fertility treatments or adoption
• Offering emotional support to friends or family members struggling with infertility

A Safeguard for a Life-Changing Gift

The requirement that surrogates must have had at least one successful pregnancy is not an arbitrary barrier designed to exclude willing participants.

Rather, it’s a critical safeguard developed over decades of experience to protect the health and well-being of the surrogate first and foremost, while also safeguarding the journey of the intended parents and the future child.

This requirement ensures:

• Medical safety through a proven ability to carry a healthy pregnancy
• Psychological readiness for the unique emotional journey of surrogacy
• Ethical practice through truly informed consent and demonstrated stability

While this standard may feel disappointing if you’re eager to help someone build their family but don’t meet the criteria, remember that there are many paths to making a profound difference in the lives of those struggling with infertility or other barriers to parenthood.

The gift of helping create a family—whether through surrogacy, egg donation, or other supportive roles—is one of the most meaningful contributions a person can make. Whatever path you choose, your desire to help others achieve their dreams of parenthood is commendable and valuable.

Take the Next Step with Physician’s Surrogacy

The journey of surrogacy is a miracle of modern medicine, but it is also a rigorous medical undertaking. The requirement that our surrogates be mothers is not a barrier meant to discourage; it’s a safeguard meant to protect the Surrogate, the Intended Parents, and the Baby.

Are you a mother who enjoyed your pregnancies? Do you feel called to help another family complete their family tree? Your experience as a parent is your greatest qualification.

If you are interested in becoming a surrogate, we invite you to take the next step. Our clinical team is ready to review your application and help you begin a rewarding journey that changes lives—starting with yours.

Click below to see if you qualify!

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Frequently Asked Questions

I am healthy and fit, so why isn’t a physical exam enough to prove I can carry a baby?

A physical exam can’t show how your body will respond to pregnancy. Pregnancy can trigger conditions like gestational diabetes or preeclampsia that don’t appear outside of pregnancy, so clinics rely heavily on your past pregnancy and delivery records.

Do I need to be currently raising my child?

In many programs, yes. Clinics often want you to be actively parenting at least one child, because it shows you understand the day-to-day reality of motherhood and have an established home routine and support system.

Can I be a surrogate if I have been pregnant before but miscarried?

If it were your only pregnancy, then no. The medical requirement is a “successful, full-term delivery.” Miscarriages do not provide the necessary medical data to prove that your uterus can sustain a pregnancy to term or that your cervix remains competent as the baby grows. If you had another successful pregnancy and delivery prior to or after the miscarriage, then you’re still free to send in an application.

What if my previous pregnancy had complications?

Since the goal of the screening process is to minimize risks for everyone involved, there’s a chance that you may be disqualified. The clinic will review your medical records to see what happened and how likely it is to happen again. Some complications may still allow you to qualify, while more serious or repeat issues may be disqualifying for your safety.

What can I do if I want to help a family but don’t qualify to be a surrogate?

If you don’t qualify to be a surrogate, you can still make an impact by considering egg donation, which doesn’t require prior parenthood. Beyond donation, you can also contribute by volunteering for infertility support organizations, advocating for family-building legislation, or providing emotional support to friends and family navigating their own fertility challenges.