Surrogacy for Gay Couples: How to Select the Genetic Father

Gay couple surrogacy

Recent medical advances have made it easier for interested couples to have their own children via gestational surrogacy. However, members of the LGBT community, especially Gay Parents planning to begin a family through surrogacy will have to choose who is going to be the genetic father of the baby. As a leading LGBT-friendly surrogacy agency in San Diego, we believe Gay Couples also need to openly discuss this important topic before selecting a Surrogate or egg donor.

Begin With Open and Honest Communication

Male same-sex couples might be surprised by how hard it can be to choose whose sperm will be used for IVF. It is crucial to communicate in an open manner and extensively discuss each other’s expectations and desires.

When talking about traits or lineage, strong emotions can come up unexpectedly. These can cause stress during an otherwise strong bonding and life-changing experience. Understandably, this is an important decision that affects the future. That is the reason why it is important, to begin with, open and honest communication during the decision-making process before surrogacy.

It might be tempting for both the Gay Couple partners to donate sperm for surrogacy. Thus, allowing fate to decide who will be the genetic father. But this hardly makes either partner feel at ease. The person who is not the dad might feel inferior or insulted. So, it is better for couples to work together and choose a genetic dad in order to have peace of mind. Moreover, this will allow the baby to know their genetic history.

Tips for Selecting the Genetic Father between the Gay parents for Surrogacy

Gay couples pursuing surrogacy can take some steps to arrive at a decision concerning the genetic father:

Speak with a counselor

Talking with a therapist in the early stages of the surrogacy process can solve any issues. It can ensure that both of you are on the same page.

Go for genetic testing

Genetic screening tests can help find out if you or your spouse has a better genetic make-up. For instance, if there’s a history of cardiovascular disease or cancer in your family, and your partner doesn’t have a history of any medical conditions in his family, he could be a better option.

Discuss each partner’s important traits

It is good to discuss what you and your spouse have to offer. These include small attributes like stature, eye color, or hair color. However, you need to remember that the baby won’t necessarily have these traits.

Consider going for twin surrogacy births

In this case of surrogacy, a donor’s eggs are first fertilized with one of the Gay Dad’s sperm and then with the sperm of the other Dad. This way, the egg donor is the same, but two fertilized eggs are produced. Gay Couples can choose to either freeze these eggs for later use or have them implanted into the surrogate’s uterus via IVF. 


You have found the “one,” and now you want to grow a family. At Physician’s Surrogacy, we help LGBT couples achieve their dreams of having children through our comprehensive surrogacy program.

Do you want to know more about how to choose the genetic dad? Do you have more questions regarding surrogacy for Gay parents and the LGBT community? Contact Physician’s Surrogacy, California to schedule a free consultation so we can discuss what your path towards parenthood looks like. You can also visit us at for more info.

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