Questions You Need to Ask Your Prospective Surrogate
Although they may begin as strangers, the Intended Parents and the Gestational Surrogate often end up creating a life-long relationship during the surrogacy process. It takes a lot of energy, time, and finances to build this relationship, and it all starts with getting to know your Surrogate Mother and find out about each other. Your gestational surrogacy agency would have already interviewed and screened the applicants with the best protocols. However, it is essential to know the person who will be carrying your baby.
When looking for a Surrogate, it’s important that you find someone you resonate with. Your Surrogate Mother should be one you can trust, and who will have your interests at heart. You will have to figure out if she’s the ideal Surrogate for your family. Don’t forget that the surrogacy process is a partnership agreement. Hence, you should be ready to have the right relationship with your Surrogate going forward.
Here are some important questions you need to ask your potential Surrogate before the commencement of the surrogacy process.Schedule A Consultation
1. Where Are You From?
The first time you meet with your potential Surrogate, pretend as though it’s your first date. Get to know her personally. Ask her where she is from. Ask questions about her family, her values, and her interests.
Use this time to find out the type of person she is. Do you see yourself working with her for long? How will she want the communication between both of you to be during the surrogacy process? Will her lifestyle promote a healthy pregnancy?
Please note: allow this conversation to flow naturally. Your Surrogate will want to know you, too.
2. Why Do You Want to Be a Surrogate?
Surrogates make this decision mostly because they like being pregnant and wish to do all they can to help a family. This is the reason why they want to do it for another individual or couple. Every Surrogate has a story behind their decision. You need to find out her story, as this will help you understand her journey to becoming a Surrogate.
But if the story is mostly about her finances, then this could be a big warning sign. If she’s not willing to enter a surrogacy agreement for whatever reason, you may want to look for another Surrogate Mother.
3. What About Your Family? Are they supportive towards the gestational surrogacy process
Does your Surrogate have a partner? What about a family? It’s crucial that the Surrogate is fully supported by the people she loves. Find out if her husband is in support of her decision to become a Surrogate. Has she discussed it with her children? They won’t be directly involved in the surrogacy process. However, the surrogacy pregnancy is going to affect the Surrogate’s family in one way or the other.
Be sure that the surrogacy arrangement won’t affect her personal life as this could result in a stressful pregnancy for her and the baby she’s carrying.
4. How Do You Handle Your Pregnancies?
Ask your Surrogate about her previous pregnancies. Did she fall sick? Was she able to carry the baby to full term? As the best surrogacy agency in California, we do a stringent background check on the Surrogate before matching her with you. However, it’s important to ask any questions that matter to you.
Below are some questions you should want to ask through your agency:
- Will she insist on taking caffeine?
- Will the Surrogate be able to travel for her appointments?
- How involved does she want the Intended Parents to be? Does she want to be visited often or to be left alone?
- Will she take prenatal vitamins?
- How would the Surrogate feel about carrying more than one child in her womb? (Because we know that this is possible when undergoing IVF).
- Will she be willing to speak to a counselor during the surrogacy process?
Now the difficult question:
- How would the Surrogate feel about pregnancy termination and selective reduction?
- What conditions could make her agree to undergo these procedures?
While this is not something we like to discuss, it needs to be addressed. It will make sure that no one is caught unprepared in case things don’t go as planned. The agency would have already found out what the Surrogate thinks of this. However, it’s good to be reassured that the Surrogate will allow you to make the parenting decisions and that both of you agree on this.
Again, you should carry out some research yourself. Figure out the things that matter to you during pregnancy and then inform your surrogacy agency.
5. Are You Willing to Pump for the surrogacy process?
Breast milk and colostrum offer a lot of health benefits for newborn babies. If this matters to you, you will have to talk to the Surrogate Mother about her willingness to pump after childbirth. You may decide how long you want her to pump for if she wants to. However, the cost is usually between $250-350 per week
If pumping is not a viable option, there are many ways for a woman to stimulate the production of breastmilk without being pregnant. Alternatively, you can resort to donor milk or baby formula to feed your child.
We know that you may not be comfortable asking some of these questions. Hence, as your surrogacy agency, we will be there to support you the best. We will make sure your partnership with the Surrogate is open as well as full of honest communication throughout the surrogacy process. It’s better to ask the awkward questions now before a baby is involved.
Want to know more about how you can find the perfect match and become more familiar with your Surrogate Mother? Schedule a complimentary consultation with Physician’s Surrogacy in San Diego, California to find out how the gestational surrogacy process can help you achieve parenthood. Also, you can or visit our website to chat with our team.Schedule A Consultation