Common Myths About Surrogacy
Common Myths One should know About Surrogacy – Debunked!
For centuries, having a child and building a family was an unattainable goal to many. Surrogacy is one way for many couples and singles to start and grow their family with the help of a Surrogate who carries the baby to term. As with any new scientific advance, the process is subject to controversy. Because of this, much of the information out there is untrue and misleading. These Myths of the Surrogacy process can cause much confusion amongst people.
Myth: It’s Difficult to ‘Give the Baby Up.’
Truth: The most common question a Surrogate faces, is, “Isn’t it difficult to give the baby up after carrying it to term?” The answer is NO, it is not difficult. The baby resulting from the surrogacy arrangement is never the Surrogate’s baby, to begin with. The Surrogate goes into the pregnancy knowing they are simply the vessel to deliver the baby. It’s similar to babysitting. A person wouldn’t offer to babysit and then decide not to give the child back; they are aware that the child is not theirs.
Similarly, a Surrogate knows that the baby is not hers. Surrogates undergo psychological screening beforehand to make sure that this issue does not occur. The goal to keep in mind before the process even begins is to help build a family by carrying a child for the Intended Parents. Surrogates do not give babies up; they give them back to their rightful parents!
Myth: Surrogates Make a Lot of Money, and They are Doing It Only for Money.
Truth: Some women may first come to surrogacy with a monetary goal in mind. Our compensation structure at Physician’s Surrogacy Agency, California ensures our surrogates are paid an absolute, fixed amount. However, compassion is also a big factor for many Surrogates. Surrogacy is not really for the money. It’s about the precious looks on the parents’ faces when they see their baby for the first time through an ultrasound screen. It’s about the smile that they have when they put their hands on the Surrogate’s belly to feel the baby kick. It is about the heart flutters that you feel when you watch them hold their baby for the first time and to see that tears of gratitude fall from their eyes. It’s in knowing that you helped a couple or an individual become parent/s. Knowing that you are the one who fulfilled their dreams of a family.
Those precious moments are priceless, and no monetary gains can come close to being a part of such a beautiful experience. The amount a Surrogate earns can vary from agency to agency. Nevertheless, it is certainly not as much as people believe. Put more simply, a woman cannot make a living as a Surrogate.
Myth: Surrogacy is Unethical.
Truth: There is nothing unethical about surrogacy. Anybody painting this as “wombs for rent” or “baby-selling” is at fault. There is absolutely no type of exploitation of women happening in surrogacy agreements within the United States. To become a surrogate, a woman must pass a standard list of Surrogate Mother requirements, which includes financial stability. This is followed by medical and psychological screenings. A candidate must pass all these steps in order to become a Surrogate. Surrogacy agreements are nothing like what you see on television.
Myth: Legal Contracts are Meaningless. A Surrogate Can Keep the Baby.
Truth: Surrogacy contracts are in fact legally binding. The court will uphold the contract in the states where surrogacy is legally recognized. Not every state acknowledges the legality of surrogacy, or Surrogates carrying for certain Intended Parents. If a candidate uses an agency, they will let her know whether she meets all the requirements of becoming a Surrogate. Those taking an independent route in surrogacy will have to look into the laws governing their states to learn about their states’ laws.
The contract is a critical part of surrogacy. No surrogacy procedure can start until all parties have drafted, reviewed, and signed the contracts. In some extremely rare occurrences where the Intended Parents decide that they don’t want the child, for such times, guardians are written into the contracts. As for the concern about Surrogates trying to keep the baby, the court will uphold the legally signed contract.
Myth: Surrogacy is a Selfish Option as There are so Many Kids to Foster/Adopt.
Truth: Surrogacy is not a selfish endeavor; adoption is not always a viable option. In addition, it’s common for people to have a desire for a genetic connection with their child. Surrogacy is a selfless way to help people achieve this goal. There would be no question towards an average couple without any fertility problems about their decision to have biological children instead of adopting a child. There is no reason to treat parents who use the help of a Surrogate any differently. Just as not every woman would be capable of carrying a child, not every couple is able to foster by opening their hearts and homes to kids in need of adoption. How a person or couple decides to expand their family is their personal decision. No one else can dictate how another family is made.
Myth: It’s All About Designer Babies.
Truth: Surrogacy is about creating a family. Deciding the child’s gender is not the main goal. Finding the gender of the embryo is the by-product of genetic testing. Intended Parents opt for it to ensure the embryo is viable and healthy. The same tests are also a part of any IVF procedure. While some parents make a gender choice, many don’t. The main purpose of the tests is to confirm that the embryo is healthy.
Myth: A Surrogate Will Have to Let the Intended Parents Into the Room When Giving Birth.
Truth: Whether it is a vaginal birth or a c-section, the presence of Intended Parents is something that is discussed even before the first meeting between the Surrogate and Intended Parents. It also depends on the comfort level of the Surrogate. Both parties need to discuss & reiterate this point at that time of initial meetups. Some Surrogates are comfortable having Intended Parents in the delivery room, watching everything that goes on. Whereas, other Surrogates are not. That’s why one should discuss this point before a match proceeds.
All in all, the Surrogacy myths we discussed above seem to be the ones that come up most often. Although, there are many other misconceptions. We hope that we have clarified some of the most common myths to provide a better understanding of the beautiful process of surrogacy! You can apply here to become a surrogate with Physician’s Surrogacy Agency, California.