10 Surprising Things About Your Surrogacy Journey (For You and the Baby!)

You’re probably ready for the morning sickness, the endless appointments, and the baby bump. But when you’re a surrogate, the journey is filled with surprises you might not see coming—for you and for the little one you’re carrying.

Let’s be real: surrogacy can be an emotional rollercoaster. It’s a path filled with unexpected complications, conflicted feelings about bonding, and moments where you might feel isolated or overwhelmed. But it’s also one of the most generous things you can do.

Here at Physician’s Surrogacy, we’re the nation’s only OB-managed agency because we believe that having the right medical and emotional support makes all the difference in turning surprises into amazing memories.

Let’s explore some of the most amazing and surprising things your surrogate baby will do, and what you might discover about yourself along the way.

Key Takeaways

• A surrogate baby develops tastes based on your diet, learns to recognize voices, and can even cry or see light while still in the womb.
• Surrogates often navigate a complex mix of emotions, feeling a deep connection to the baby while maintaining a healthy sense of detachment.
• The journey can bring unexpected medical challenges and feelings of isolation, making expert medical oversight and an understanding support system crucial.

The Secret World of the Surrogate Baby

Without further ado, let’s get straight to our list.

1. They’re Developing a Taste for Food

That growing baby isn’t just making you hungry—they’re actually tasting everything you eat! The amniotic fluid takes on the flavors of your meals, and since the baby is constantly swallowing this fluid, they’re getting a preview of different tastes.

What’s really fascinating is that these early flavor experiences can shape their preferences after birth. Research shows babies tend to prefer foods they were exposed to in the womb.

“Eating a variety of fruits and vegetables doesn’t just keep you healthy; it gives the baby their first ‘taste’ of the world,” explains Dr. Sarah Johnson, OB/GYN at Physician’s Surrogacy.

So don’t feel guilty about those pregnancy cravings (within reason, of course)—you’re actually helping develop the baby’s palate!

2. They’re Already Learning and Can Hear Your Voice

By 18 weeks, the baby’s ears are developed enough to hear sounds—especially your voice, heartbeat, and even the gurgling of your digestion. But here’s the mind-blowing part: in the last 10 weeks of pregnancy, they’re actually learning language patterns!

Research has found that newborns respond more strongly to the language they heard in the womb than to unfamiliar languages, and this difference is noticeable just hours after birth.

This creates a beautiful opportunity to help the intended parents (IPs) bond with their baby before birth.

“Talking or singing to your belly is a wonderful way to interact,” suggests Maria Torres, a surrogate mentor at Physician’s Surrogacy. “You can even ask the IPs to send voice recordings for you to play, helping the baby get familiar with their parents’ sounds.”

3. They Have Fingerprints, Can Cry, and See Light

The baby you’re carrying is developing unique characteristics much earlier than you might think:

• Their fingerprints are fully formed between 10-16 weeks of pregnancy
• Ultrasounds have captured babies “crying” in the womb in response to stimuli
• By the end of the second trimester, they can open their eyes and may even turn away if you shine a bright light on your belly

Each of these developments reminds us that the little one inside is already their own unique person, with responses and reactions that make them who they are.

4. They Are Carrying the Next Generation

Here’s something that might blow your mind: if you’re carrying a baby girl, she’s already developing all the eggs she will ever have while still in your womb.

“In a way, you’re not just carrying a baby for the IPs; you’re carrying their potential grandchildren, too. It’s an incredible biological legacy,” says Dr. Michael Chen, reproductive endocrinologist.

This fascinating fact highlights the profound impact of your role as a surrogate. The healthy environment you’re providing isn’t just supporting one life but potentially influencing generations to come.

5. They Might Be Your Tiny Healer

One of the most surprising scientific discoveries in recent years is fetal microchimerism—the process where cells from the baby can travel through the placenta and take up residence in the surrogate’s body.

These fetal cells don’t just hang around; they can actually migrate to injured tissues and help with repairs. Scientists have found these cells in various maternal organs years after pregnancy, suggesting they may provide long-term benefits.

“It’s a surprising and beautiful example of the deep biological connection that forms during pregnancy,” explains Dr. Johnson. “The baby you’re carrying might actually leave behind cells that could help heal your body in the future.”

The Surprising Journey for You

While the baby is experiencing these fascinating developments, you’ll be on your own journey of discovery. Here are some surprises that might come your way as a surrogate:

6. Your Body Might Throw You a Curveball (And That’s Okay)

Even if you’ve had smooth pregnancies before, surrogacy can bring unexpected medical challenges. Some surrogates face conditions like Subchorionic Hematoma (SCH) or Gestational Diabetes (GD) that weren’t part of their previous pregnancy experiences.

Getting a diagnosis like GD can feel overwhelming. You’re already doing so much for another family, and now you have to manage a special diet and monitor your health even more closely. It’s okay to feel frustrated.

“When I was diagnosed with GD during my surrogacy journey, I felt like I was letting everyone down,” shares Jessica, a two-time surrogate. “But having medical professionals who specialized in surrogacy made all the difference. They reminded me this wasn’t my fault and helped me manage it one day at a time.”

This is where having expert medical oversight is so important.

Here at Physician’s Surrogacy, our in-house OB/GYNs are part of your team from day one. This physician-led model is why our preterm delivery rate is less than half the national average. We also offer optional antenatal testing like NIPT and Fetal Echocardiograms for extra peace of mind.

If you’re worried about potential complications, talk to your doctor about specific concerns. Having knowledge and a proactive plan can help reduce anxiety and keep both you and the baby healthy.

7. Your Feelings About the Baby Can Be Complicated

One of the biggest misconceptions about surrogacy is that you’ll either feel nothing for the baby or become too attached. The reality? It’s usually somewhere in between, and that’s perfectly normal.

Many surrogates describe feeling a special connection to the baby—after all, you’re nurturing this little one for months—while also having a clear understanding that this is not your child. This balance can sometimes be hard to explain to others who haven’t experienced surrogacy.

“It’s completely normal to feel a mix of connection, pride, and healthy detachment,” explains Samantha Wright, a surrogacy counselor. “A systematic review of surrogacy outcomes found that while most surrogates report positive experiences, the emotional side of relinquishment is a real challenge for many.”

Having clear conversations with your IPs about the birth plan and communication expectations is one of the best things you can do. You get to decide who is in the delivery room. Your comfort is a top priority.

Remember that your feelings might change throughout the pregnancy, and that’s okay, too. Having a support system that understands the nuances of surrogacy is invaluable during these moments.

8. Finding Your Tribe Can Be Harder Than You Think

Many surrogates are surprised to discover that their regular support networks don’t quite understand what they’re going through. Even more disappointing can be joining surrogate support groups only to find them superficial or focused solely on positive stories.

“I joined an online surrogate group expecting to find real talk about the challenges, but it felt like everyone was just putting on a happy face,” shares Amanda, a surrogate from California. “What I really needed was a place to discuss both the amazing parts AND the hard days.”

You need a place for real talk. That’s why we offer 24/7 support from dedicated case managers and mentors who are experienced surrogates themselves. You can connect with others in our community who get the highs and the lows.

Finding authentic connections with other surrogates who are honest about their experiences can make all the difference in your journey. Look for spaces where people share both joys and challenges, and don’t be afraid to be the one who starts those real conversations.

9. The Financial Side Can Be Refreshingly Simple

Let’s talk about compensation. As a surrogate, you can earn between $48,000 and $75,000, with experienced surrogates earning up to $95,000. But the real surprise is how straightforward it can be.

Here at Physician’s Surrogacy, all your surrogacy-related expenses are covered—from medical bills to lost wages. There are no hidden fees.

You can even earn a $1,500 referral bonus for every successful referral, even if you don’t qualify yourself.

While financial compensation shouldn’t be your only motivation for becoming a surrogate, it’s completely okay to value this aspect of the process. The compensation acknowledges the significant commitment you’re making and can help you achieve personal goals while helping others create their families.

10. You’ll Discover a Strength You Never Knew You Had

Perhaps the most profound surprise of the surrogacy journey is discovering your own inner strength and resilience.

Carrying a child for someone else requires physical endurance, emotional maturity, and a generous spirit that you might not have fully recognized in yourself before.

“Every day, my heart is touched by this amazing experience,” says Tina, a surrogate through Physician’s Surrogacy. “Even on the hard days—and yes, there are hard days—I’m amazed at what my body can do and how much this journey has taught me about myself.”

Many surrogates report that the experience changes how they view themselves and their capabilities. The challenges you overcome and the gift you provide can become a source of lasting pride and confidence that extends into other areas of your life.

What Makes Your Surrogacy Experience Unique

While we’ve covered many surprising aspects of surrogacy, your personal journey will have its own unique moments. Here are some additional things that might surprise you:

The Baby’s Sleep Patterns Can Tell You A Lot

Contrary to what you might think, babies don’t just kick randomly. They develop distinct sleep-wake cycles as early as 25 weeks. You might notice that the baby is more active at certain times of day—often when you’re trying to rest!

“I swear the little guy I carried was nocturnal,” laughs Jamie, a surrogate from Texas. “He would party all night and sleep all morning. His parents tell me he kept that schedule for months after birth!”

These patterns can give you fascinating insights into the baby’s developing personality. Some babies are extremely active, while others are more laid-back. Sharing these observations with the intended parents can help them feel connected to their baby’s development.

Your Body Recovers Differently Than With Your Own Children

Many experienced surrogates report that postpartum recovery can feel different after a surrogate pregnancy compared to their own pregnancies. Some find it easier without the demands of caring for a newborn, while others are surprised by unexpected emotional responses during the hormone shifts after birth.

“I recovered physically faster after my surrogate birth than with my own kids because I could actually rest,” shares Melanie, a surrogate mother. “But I was surprised by the emotional waves that came and went in those first few weeks. Having support from people who understood that process was essential.”

Planning ahead for your postpartum period is crucial. Make sure you have support at home, a clear understanding of your follow-up care, and connections to resources if you need emotional support.

Your Relationship With the IPs Evolves In Unexpected Ways

The bond that forms between surrogates and intended parents often takes surprising turns. While some relationships remain professional throughout the process, many develop into meaningful friendships that continue long after the baby is born.

“I started off thinking this would be a fairly business-like arrangement,” says Courtney, who completed her surrogacy journey last year. “But watching the mom’s face when she felt her baby kick for the first time created a connection I never expected. We still exchange holiday cards and updates.”

The key to navigating this relationship is open communication about boundaries and expectations from the beginning. Be honest about the level of contact you’re comfortable with during pregnancy and after birth. Remember that there’s no single “right way” to approach this relationship—what matters is that it works for everyone involved.

Your Perspective On Family Building Changes Forever

Many surrogates find that their experience gives them a profound new understanding of what family means. Seeing firsthand the lengths people will go to in order to create their families can transform how you view parenthood and the many paths to building a family.

“Being a surrogate opened my eyes to the different ways families come together,” reflects Nicole, who carried twins for a same-sex couple. “It made me more compassionate and understanding of everyone’s unique journey to parenthood.”

This shift in perspective is often cited by surrogates as one of the most meaningful long-term effects of their surrogacy experience. The insights you gain into fertility, parenthood, and the meaning of family can influence how you view the world for years to come.

Embracing Your Surrogate Journey

The journey of surrogacy is filled with surprises—both fascinating and challenging. From the incredible developments happening with the baby to the unexpected ways you’ll grow as a person, each step of this path brings new discoveries.

While the experience has its challenges, the gift you’re giving is truly priceless. You’re helping create a family and providing hope to people who may have thought parenthood was beyond their reach.

“Being able to call the intended parents and tell them their baby just did somersaults after they played their favorite song over the phone—those moments make everything worth it,” shares Rebecca, a three-time surrogate.

The journey is profound, and you should never have to walk it alone. Here at Physician’s Surrogacy, our unique OB-managed model and dedicated community are here to support you through every surprising moment.

Tips for Making the Most of Your Surrogate Journey

Based on the experiences of countless successful surrogates, here are some practical tips to help you embrace the surprises and navigate the challenges of your surrogacy journey:

Keep a Pregnancy Journal

Many surrogates find it meaningful to document their journey, both for themselves and as a potential keepsake for the intended parents and child.

“I kept a simple journal where I wrote down when I felt the first kicks, how the baby responded to different foods or music, and my thoughts throughout the process,” says Maria. “Years later, the parents told me their daughter treasures reading about her time ‘growing in her angel’s belly.'”

Your journal can be as simple or elaborate as you like—from a basic notebook to a digital diary with photos of your growing belly and ultrasound images (with the IPs’ permission, of course).

Create a Self-Care Routine

Surrogacy puts additional demands on your body and emotions, making self-care especially important. Find activities that help you relieve stress and stay connected to yourself.

“I made sure to have at least 30 minutes of ‘me time’ every day during my surrogacy,” explains Jen, a surrogate from San Diego. “Sometimes that was prenatal yoga, sometimes it was just a quiet cup of tea and a good book. Having that time helped me process my feelings and stay centered.”

Whether it’s gentle exercise, meditation, creative activities, or simply time in nature, identifying practices that nourish you can help you manage the physical and emotional demands of surrogacy.

Communicate Clearly About Boundaries

One of the most important factors in a positive surrogacy experience is clear communication about boundaries and expectations with the intended parents.

“I was worried about disappointing my IPs by setting boundaries, but being upfront actually made our relationship stronger,” shares Alicia, who completed her surrogacy journey last year. “We agreed early on about things like how often we’d communicate, who would be present at appointments, and the birth plan. Having that clarity made everything smoother.”

Don’t be afraid to express your needs and preferences. A good agency will help facilitate these conversations and support you in maintaining healthy boundaries.

Connect With Experienced Surrogates

There’s nothing quite like talking with someone who has walked this path before you. Connecting with experienced surrogates can provide invaluable insights and support.

“The best advice I got came from a woman who had been a surrogate three times,” says Lauren, a first-time surrogate. “She told me what to really expect during the embryo transfer, how to explain surrogacy to my own kids, and gave me tips for handling the postpartum period that I wouldn’t have known to ask about.”

At Physician’s Surrogacy, we pair new surrogates with mentors who can provide this kind of real-world guidance based on personal experience.

Prepare Your Support Network

Help your family and close friends understand what surrogacy involves and how they can best support you.

“I realized my mom had all these misconceptions about surrogacy,” laughs Danielle, a surrogate from California. “Once I explained the process and answered her questions, she became my biggest cheerleader. But it took those frank conversations to get there.”

Consider sharing articles or resources about surrogacy with your inner circle, and be clear about the kind of support you might need at different stages of the journey.

Your Surprising Path Forward

The surrogacy journey is full of surprises, for both the baby you carry and for you. Remember that the little one is already learning your voice and developing tastes, while your own experience will be a complex mix of emotions that makes a strong support system essential.

If you’re considering this path, take one small step today: write down one hope or fear you have about the journey. Sharing your story is one of the best ways to find community

FAQs

How much do surrogates get paid?

A surrogate’s compensation typically ranges from $48,000 to $75,000, with experienced surrogates earning more. This fee acknowledges your commitment, and all surrogacy-related expenses are covered separately so you have no out-of-pocket costs.

What happens if I get too attached to the baby?

Feeling attached to the baby is a normal part of the surrogate journey. Most surrogates feel a deep connection while understanding the baby isn’t theirs. This complex emotion is why having a strong support system to talk to is so important.

Can the baby really hear my voice in the womb?

Yes, the baby can really hear your voice, as hearing develops around 18 weeks. They learn to recognize familiar sounds, which is why playing voice recordings from the intended parents is a great way for them to bond with the baby before birth.

What if I have medical complications during the surrogacy?

If you have medical complications, an expert medical team is crucial. At an OB-managed agency, your health is the top priority. They will create a plan to keep you and the baby safe, reminding you that these issues are not your fault.

Do I have to pay for any of the medical bills?

No, you do not have to pay for any medical bills related to the surrogacy. All surrogacy-related expenses, including medical appointments, travel, and lost wages, are covered by the intended parents.

What kind of relationship will I have with the intended parents after birth?

The relationship you have with the intended parents after birth is unique to each journey. It can range from a close friendship to occasional updates. It’s important to communicate your expectations and comfort levels from the start.

Who decides what happens during the birth?

You, as the surrogate, have a major say in what happens during the birth. The birth plan is created with the intended parents, but your comfort and health are the priority. Clear communication ensures everyone is on the same page for delivery day.

Julianna Nikolic

Chief Strategy Officer Julianna Nikolic leads strategic initiatives, focusing on growth, innovation, and patient-centered solutions in the reproductive sciences sector. With 26+ years of management experience and a strong entrepreneurial background, she brings deep expertise to advancing reproductive healthcare.