How To Prepare Yourself for Surrogate Pregnancy?
Are you thinking about becoming a surrogate? It’s a life-changing decision filled with big questions and even bigger emotions. You might be drawn to the incredible compensation and the profound desire to help a family, but you may also feel overwhelmed by the complex medical, legal, and emotional steps involved.
You’re not alone in these feelings. Here at Physician’s Surrogacy, we talk with women just like you every day who are considering this life-changing journey. As the nation’s only OB-managed surrogacy agency, we’ve helped hundreds of surrogates navigate this path successfully.
This comprehensive guide will walk you through the seven essential steps to prepare for becoming a surrogate, addressing your biggest questions and concerns along the way.
Key Takeaways
- Preparing for surrogacy involves emotional reflection, prioritizing physical health, and understanding the medical journey.
- A strong support system from family, friends, and your agency is crucial for a positive experience.
- It’s essential to understand the full financial picture, including base compensation, covered expenses, and legal protections.
- Choosing a medically-led surrogacy agency is the most important decision for ensuring a safe and successful journey.
1. Get Emotionally and Mentally Prepared
Before diving into applications or medical screenings, take time to reflect on your motivations and emotional readiness.
Understand Your “Why”
Most surrogates are motivated by a mix of financial and altruistic reasons. Surrogates often report feeling empowered by helping others create families while also valuing the compensation.
Ask yourself:
- Why am I considering surrogacy?
- Am I comfortable with the emotional aspects of carrying a baby for someone else?
- How will I feel throughout the pregnancy and after delivery?
Address Common Emotional Concerns
Many potential surrogates worry about bonding with the baby. According to a study in PMC, successful surrogates typically have a different mindset about the pregnancy from the beginning. As one surrogate in the study put it: “I knew from the start this baby would never belong to me.”
Practical steps to build emotional readiness:
- Start journaling about your thoughts and feelings regarding surrogacy
- Connect with experienced surrogates through online forums or local support groups
- Talk openly with your partner and family about your decision and their support
- Consider preliminary counseling with a mental health professional familiar with surrogacy
2. Prioritize Your Physical Health & Wellness
A healthy body is the foundation for a successful surrogate pregnancy. Starting healthy habits now will make the medical clearance process smoother and support a healthy pregnancy later.
Optimize Your Diet
Pre-pregnancy nutrition significantly impacts fertility outcomes and pregnancy health.
Foods to focus on:
- Fruits and vegetables rich in antioxidants
- Whole grains and complex carbohydrates
- Lean proteins (chicken, fish, legumes)
- Healthy fats from avocados, nuts, and olive oil
- Foods rich in folate, iron, and calcium
Foods to limit or avoid:
- Processed foods high in trans fats
- Excessive caffeine (more than 200mg daily)
- Alcohol and tobacco products
- High-mercury fish
Action step: Start taking a prenatal vitamin now, after checking with your doctor.
Develop Surrogacy-Safe Fitness Habits
Regular, moderate exercise before and during pregnancy can:
- Reduce your risk of gestational diabetes by up to 27%, according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists
- Lower the chances of needing a C-section
- Improve postpartum recovery time
Recommended activities:
- Walking (30 minutes daily)
- Swimming
- Prenatal yoga
- Light strength training
Activities to avoid:
- High-impact or contact sports
- Hot yoga, hot tubs, or saunas
- Activities with a high risk of falling
Manage Stress Effectively
The surrogacy process can be demanding, and stress management is crucial for your wellbeing.
Effective stress management techniques:
- Practice mindfulness meditation for 10 minutes daily
- Try deep breathing exercises when feeling overwhelmed
- Aim for 7-8 hours of quality sleep each night
- Create a support system of understanding friends and family
3. Understand the Medical Journey from A to Z
The medical aspects of surrogacy can seem complex, but understanding them helps reduce anxiety and prepare you for what’s ahead.
Know the Different Types of Surrogacy
Gestational surrogacy is the most common form and the only type we facilitate at Physician’s Surrogacy. As a gestational carrier (GC), you’ll carry an embryo created through IVF using eggs and sperm from the intended parents (IPs) or donors. This means you won’t have a genetic link to the baby.
This differs from traditional surrogacy, where the surrogate’s own egg is used, creating a biological connection to the child. For various legal and emotional reasons, gestational surrogacy has become the standard practice in the United States.
The Medical Screening Process
A thorough medical screening protects both you and the intended parents. Proper screening significantly improves success rates and reduces complications.
At Physician’s Surrogacy, our physician-designed pre-screening includes:
- Comprehensive medical history review
- Physical examination
- Blood tests and infectious disease screening
- Reproductive system evaluation
- Psychological assessment
The IVF and Embryo Transfer Process
The actual medical procedure involves:
- Taking medications to prepare your uterus for implantation
- The embryo transfer procedure (quick and typically painless)
- Pregnancy confirmation and ongoing prenatal care
Our unique advantage: Most agencies require you to complete this screening after matching with intended parents. If medical issues arise, it can be devastating for everyone involved. That’s why we created our Medically Cleared Fast Track Program. You complete all medical screening before matching, which not only shortens the timeline but also gives you and the intended parents peace of mind. Plus, surrogates who are match-ready receive a $500 bonus!
Understanding Potential Health Considerations
It’s important to be aware that surrogate pregnancies do carry some specific considerations. Research indicates a slightly higher risk of pregnancy complications like pre-eclampsia in surrogate pregnancies.
However, this is precisely why our OB-managed approach makes a difference. Our in-house OB/GYN monitoring provides comprehensive care from recruitment to delivery. This model results in superior clinical safety—our preterm delivery rate is less than 50% of the national average.
4. Get Clear on the Financials
Let’s talk about money. It’s okay to acknowledge that compensation is a significant factor in your decision to become a surrogate. Being clear about what you’ll earn helps you plan and feel confident about moving forward.
Understanding Your Compensation
At Physician’s Surrogacy, our surrogate compensation packages are structured to be fair and transparent:
- Base compensation starts from $48,000 to $75,000
- Experienced surrogates can earn premium compensation up to $95,000
- An additional monthly allowance covers surrogacy-related expenses
What Expenses Are Covered?
A common concern from our research with surrogates is clarity around out-of-pocket costs. Here’s what you need to know: as a surrogate, you won’t have any out-of-pocket costs for:
- All medical procedures and appointments related to the surrogacy
- Legal fees for contracts and parentage proceedings
- Life insurance during the pregnancy
- Travel expenses for appointments
- Maternity clothing allowance
Additional Earning Opportunities
Did you know you can also earn by referring others? Our program offers a $1,500 referral bonus for every successful surrogate you refer. The best part? You can receive this bonus even if you don’t end up qualifying as a surrogate yourself.
Financial Planning Tips
Once you know how much you’ll earn, it’s wise to plan how you’ll use the compensation:
- Consider setting aside a portion for long-term savings or investments
- Think about any immediate financial needs you might address
- Research potential tax implications (consult with a financial advisor)
5. Build Your Personal Support System
Having strong support during your surrogacy journey can make all the difference in your experience. Surrogates with strong support networks report more positive experiences throughout the process.
Start with Your Immediate Family
Your partner and children will be most directly affected by your surrogacy journey. Here’s how to bring them on board:
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Have honest conversations: Explain surrogacy in age-appropriate ways to your children. For younger kids, books like “The Kangaroo Pouch” can help.
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Include your partner in decisions: Make sure your partner feels involved and supportive of your choice. Their emotional and practical support will be invaluable.
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Create a practical support plan: Discuss who will help with childcare during appointments, household responsibilities during bed rest if needed, and emotional support throughout the journey.
Expand Your Circle of Support
Beyond your immediate family:
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Choose a dedicated support person: Select someone who can accompany you to key appointments and be your go-to person for emotional support.
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Connect with other surrogates: Join online communities or local groups where you can share experiences with women who truly understand what you’re going through.
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Inform close friends: Let trusted friends know about your decision so they can offer appropriate support and understanding.
Lean on Professional Support
Remember that you’ll never be alone in this journey:
- At Physician’s Surrogacy, you’ll have a dedicated coordinator available 24/7 throughout your journey
- Access to professional counseling is always available when you need emotional support
- Our medical team provides constant guidance on physical aspects of the pregnancy
6. Know the Legal Basics
Understanding the legal framework of surrogacy helps you feel confident and protected throughout the process.
The Importance of a Solid Contract
A comprehensive surrogacy agreement is essential for protecting everyone involved. A well-drafted contract is one of the most important elements of a successful surrogacy arrangement.
The contract will clearly outline:
- Compensation details and payment schedule
- Rights and responsibilities of all parties
- Decision-making authority during pregnancy
- Procedures in case of complications
- Post-birth contact agreements
How the Legal Process Works
At Physician’s Surrogacy, we simplify the legal process for you:
- You’ll work with an independent attorney who represents only your interests
- The intended parents work with their own separate attorney
- Both attorneys draft and review the Gestational Carrier Agreement
- Once all parties agree to the terms, the contract is signed
- Legal parentage proceedings are handled according to state laws
State Laws and Considerations
Surrogacy laws vary significantly by state. Some states like California, Nevada, and Illinois have surrogate-friendly laws, while others have restrictions or no clear legislation.
We’ll help you understand the specific legal landscape that applies to your situation, working only within jurisdictions that provide clear legal protection for surrogates.
7. Find the Right Agency for You
Choosing the right surrogacy agency is perhaps the most important decision you’ll make. The right partner will make your journey smoother, safer, and more rewarding.
What to Look for in a Surrogacy Agency
Medical Expertise: Ask whether the agency has medical professionals on staff. Are they just a matching service, or do they provide comprehensive medical oversight?
Transparency: Do they clearly explain their processes, timelines, and compensation? Are there hidden fees or vague promises?
Support Services: What kind of emotional and practical support do they provide throughout the journey and after delivery?
Success Rates: What percentage of their surrogacy journeys result in successful births? What’s their track record for surrogate satisfaction?
Why Physician’s Surrogacy Stands Out
As the nation’s only OB-managed surrogacy agency, we offer a unique approach focused on your health and well-being:
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Physician-Led Care: Our medical team provides expert guidance throughout your journey, resulting in safer pregnancies and better outcomes.
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Transparent Compensation: Our clear compensation structure means no surprises or hidden costs.
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Comprehensive Support: From 24/7 coordinator access to professional counseling, we’re with you every step of the way.
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Efficient Matching: Our Medically Cleared Fast Track Program can match you with intended parents quickly, often within one week.
Your Surrogacy Journey, Simplified
Becoming a surrogate is a profound decision. The clearest path forward involves preparing yourself emotionally and physically, building a strong support system, and choosing a medically-led agency to guide you. These steps ensure your journey is safe and rewarding. Your next step? Have an open conversation with your partner or a close friend this week about why this path feels right for you.
FAQs
What is the first step I should take to become a surrogate?
The first step to becoming a surrogate is deep personal reflection on your motivations. Before applying to an agency, take time to understand your “why” and discuss the commitment with your partner and family to ensure you have a strong support system in place.
How much can I expect to be paid as a surrogate?
As a surrogate, you can expect to be paid a base compensation between $48,000 and $75,000, with experienced surrogates earning more. This compensation is in addition to a monthly allowance and having all medical and legal expenses fully covered.
Will I be genetically related to the baby I carry?
No, you will not be genetically related to the baby you carry as a gestational surrogate. The embryo is created using an egg from the intended mother or a donor and sperm from the intended father or a donor. Your role is to carry the pregnancy.
What are the biggest health requirements for being a surrogate?
The biggest health requirements for being a surrogate include having a history of at least one healthy pregnancy, being within a healthy BMI range, and being a non-smoker. You will also undergo a comprehensive medical and psychological screening.
How long does the entire surrogacy process take?
The entire surrogacy process typically takes between 12 to 18 months from application to delivery. The timeline can be faster if you join a program that completes medical screening before matching you with intended parents, which can significantly shorten the wait.
Do I have to pay for any medical or legal expenses?
No, you do not have to pay for any medical or legal expenses during your surrogacy journey. All costs, including medical appointments, legal fees for your own attorney, travel, and insurance, are fully covered by the intended parents.
What kind of support system is most important for a surrogate?
The most important support system for a surrogate is a combination of personal and professional support. This includes having an understanding partner and family, as well as a dedicated agency coordinator and access to mental health professionals throughout your journey.
Can I still be a surrogate if I’ve had my tubes tied?
Yes, you can absolutely be a surrogate if you’ve had your tubes tied (a tubal ligation). Since the embryo is transferred directly into your uterus via IVF, your fallopian tubes are not involved in the pregnancy process at all.
Julianna Nikolic
Chief Strategy Officer Julianna Nikolic leads strategic initiatives, focusing on growth, innovation, and patient-centered solutions in the reproductive sciences sector. With 26+ years of management experience and a strong entrepreneurial background, she brings deep expertise to advancing reproductive healthcare.
