Surrogacy & Social Media

The use of Facebook, Twitter, and social media channels is now so prevalent that we don’t always give much thought to how we disseminate information and the likely impact of what we share. Social media has, no doubt, helped make communication easier. It has promoted a more global community, which is a nice thing for members of the surrogacy community. It is now easier to get in touch with other Intended Parents who are going or have gone through the gestational surrogacy process. One can also learn about Surrogate Mother experiences from the online community now.

How does social media help us get information about surrogacy process?

The surrogacy community is still a small one, especially in the US. And, Surrogate Mothers tend to spend a lot of time on the internet. It’s highly unlikely that one Surrogate Mother knows more than a couple of other Surrogates about the gestational or traditional surrogacy. In that case, one woman can link up with others online. It will help her learn from the women who are undergoing or have undergone the same things she’s going through. Generally, the surrogacy community is a welcoming, educating, and supportive one.

As a hopeful parent, you may also belong to some online groups or accounts where you can discuss matters regarding surrogacy and fertility treatment. Hence, you already know how valuable these groups can be. You and your gestational carrier might have even met on social media or a matching website. The presence of an online community has opened the surrogacy process in a lot of ways we couldn’t have imagined many years ago.

The privacy concern when sharing about your surrogacy journey through social media

The nature of pregnancy, childbirth, and the surrogacy process is indeed private. Hence, given the public nature of social media, it’s good to take some time to thoroughly think about what you feel about the sharing of information online. Be mindful of both your posts or any sharing that may come from your Surrogate Mother.

It’s completely natural for a Surrogate Mother to acknowledge and maybe post details about her experience during the pregnancy. You can expect her to do this since people can see her protruding belly in pictures and in real life. She might have also told people that she’s a gestational carrier and carrying the child for another person. This is natural information sharing that you can expect from your Gestational Surrogate. But the question is, how much publicity or privacy are you okay with over the course of the entire surrogacy experience?

Here are some important questions you need to ask yourself:

• Am I okay with my picture being posted on social media?
• Am I okay with my name being used in social media posts? Last name or last initial? First name or first initial?
• Am I okay with being mentioned or tagged on social media, which may allow others to find me? Others, whom I may not have shared the news with?
• What medical or health updates am I okay sharing or being shared by Gestational Surrogate?
• After the birth of my baby through gestational surrogacy process, what level of picture sharing am I okay with?

How you can draw a line about information sharing

You may be comfortable with sharing almost all aspects of your surrogacy experience – a lot of people are. These people consider support, comfort, and encouragement, one of the main advantages of using social media. Plus, they like to educate others about the miracle that surrogacy usually is. If you are okay with information sharing, make sure you discuss this with your Surrogate Mother. Inform her that she can share her surrogacy experience as she seems fit. However, know if she has some reservations? Or is not as comfortable as you are with sharing information on the internet.

The reverse may also be true. Your gestational carrier might like sharing updates and pictures about the pregnancy, whereas you want a little more privacy. Although you may not want your Surrogate to think that you are censoring her communication, it is also important that you feel respected.

The best way for you and your Surrogate to avoid hurting each other’s feelings is by having a conversation early in the surrogacy matching process. We suggest having an open but respectful discussion about your feelings regarding online communication and information sharing. Moreover, as things arise during the process ( sharing the news about a health complication or legal issues), it is sensible to discuss what’s okay to share and what you or the gestational carrier would prefer to keep to yourselves. As a rule, if you are not sure whether it’s okay to share something, it is always good to ask the other party first. Being clear about each other’s terms can help you maintain the right relation during surrogacy.

Conclusion

Both of you are working toward a single goal – walking the path to parenthood together and having a fulfilling, life-changing experience as you go. Social media may be a good way to share information, receive support, and educate others, as long as both parties are okay with the level of sharing. And it is important that you would know what that level is. A simple and continuous conversation is necessary to ensure everyone has the best surrogacy experience.

At Physician’s Surrogacy, we make sure our Intended Parents and Surrogate Mothers have a delightful, transparent relation throughout the process. To learn more about gestational surrogacy and how we can help you fulfill your family, simply schedule a complimentary consultation with us. You can also visit our website to chat with our team.